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	<title> &#187; gratitude</title>
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		<title>Getting Through The Day</title>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Mar 2009 23:56:36 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Pastoral Reflections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[assurance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gratitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peace]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A personal and spiritual approach to daily living. Ever since learning about how Thoreau cared about the quality of each day, it has been a reoccurring guiding theme for me- one that I often revisit as a part of my assessment of goals, values, and ideals to hold, and to try to carry into each [...]
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A personal and spiritual approach to daily living.</p>
<p>Ever since learning about how Thoreau cared about the quality of each day, it<br />
has been a reoccurring guiding theme for me- one that I often revisit as a part<br />
of my assessment of goals, values, and ideals to hold, and to try to carry into<br />
each day.</p>
<p>When I or when anyone engages in self-scutiny, t rying to appraise and<br />
evaluate directions, motives, and goals there is an ongoing need to avoid<br />
harsh judgment, and the willingness to be compassionate and conciliatory<br />
towards the direction one seeks, or tries to master. Since accepting the<br />
ministry as my primary vocation, this issue has called to me and confronted<br />
me acutely- I have searched continually for a vital, involved approaches that<br />
allow for a more comprehensive outlook, and an ongoing opportunity to<br />
express my decisions, choices, and responses in a positive, affirmative,<br />
theological and ethical ways.</p>
<p>Now I would LIKE to say that since becoming a minister, that my days have all<br />
been growing, glorious, and gracious in their qualities and outcomes. But<br />
since I also try to be honest about all that I am aware of, up front I have to<br />
admit that some days it is grueling, and grasping, and I can feel that just<br />
getting through the day itself, and making it to bedtime, appears to me to be<br />
my greatest daily achievement!</p>
<p><span id="more-17"></span></p>
<p>Yet, the ministry asks me to heed the ever-present call to reach for and to try<br />
to find my sense of God, grace, benevolence, and blessings in all the people<br />
and all the circumstances that inhabit my world.</p>
<p>It is an unending challenge, and yet accepting that unending reality does not<br />
make it hopeless, it always provides me with a “growing edge,” and it is an<br />
ever-present ideal to reach for, and to accept that if even if it cannot be<br />
reached, I am still better off for trying to attain it. For me, there is a particular<br />
joy when I can assist others in finding more of whatever is worthwhile,<br />
whatever is holy, healing, inspiring, and beautiful in themselves or in their<br />
lives.</p>
<p>One way of remembering my essential task is to ask myself some pointed<br />
questions that serve to check and direct my responses, my motives, and<br />
results. I have to ask myself: “Where is God or what good is there to be found<br />
in this attitude, action, thought or feeling? Am I putting the greater good first,<br />
or am I being selfish? Not that I always remember to ask these questions, but<br />
most often, these questions retain a relevance and a heartfelt resonance that<br />
can direct my words and steps. My lifelong task is to learn how to use various<br />
holy or spiritual ideas and ethical principles and try to apply them diligently to<br />
every facet of my life.</p>
<p>A helpful way of reminding me what dail y life is all about is to remember <strong>P A<br />
G L</strong> &#8212; Peace, Assurance, Gratitude and Love.</p>
<p>These ideals were given to me at the start of my ministry by an unlikely<br />
mentor. They were given to me by a New York psychiatrist named Thomas<br />
Hora, a European, a classically trained therapist who created a system of<br />
counseling based on walking through psychiatry&#8230;</p>
<p>Instead, he offered his patients relevant philosophical and spiritually timeless<br />
attitudes and outlooks from the world religions in insightful ways that served<br />
healing and wholeness. He called his system, ”Existential Meta-Psychiatry,”<br />
to show that it was based in ideas and ideals that went beyond the<br />
diagnostic medical model, and that its emphasis on present truth<br />
incorporates symbolic metaphors. He advised that the best thing<br />
we can do is avoid futile questions such as : Why? Or Why Me? In that way,<br />
one&#8217;s practice and one&#8217;s world view can become a more philosophical and<br />
mythological one- ones based on placing oneself in parables, stories, dreams,<br />
that regard the whole person and one&#8217;s interior life.</p>
<p>Dr. Hora is among a long list of alternative thinkers, healers, and physicians<br />
that have crossed my life&#8217;s path and left their deep impressions on me. The<br />
psychiatrists have been Vicktor Frankel, John Lilly, Richard Moss; Brugh Joy,<br />
Stanislov Grof, and Jerry May- all brave explorers who left traditional<br />
approaches for a more inclusive, cross cultural view of mental health,<br />
emotional balance, creativity, and each proposed new strategies for wellness<br />
that drew from diverse sources. When I add Carl Jung, Rollo May, and<br />
Abraham Maslow to the list of just the mental health related teachers, and, for<br />
now, leaving out the list of theologians, mystics, shamans, gurus and social<br />
reformers&#8230; You can easily see that my outlook on life has taken some<br />
interesting twists and turns away from the cultural norm for most ministers,<br />
and particularly away from the acceptance of religion and medicine as being<br />
somehow separate and aloof- They have taught me the value of myth and<br />
metaphor, how our personal stories and beliefs we have about ourselves<br />
affect our health; They also emphasized that learning about oneself, and then<br />
taking more personal responsibility for the myths and stories we live in or live<br />
by can be a cooperative and synergistic approach to healing&#8230;</p>
<p>Ways that will compliment any psychotherapy and will supplement any drug<br />
use we find necessary.</p>
<p>Last weekend, I learned from my friend, Dr. Joan Borysenko, that<br />
approximately 16% of our American population is now classified as<br />
being depressed, 1 in 8 people! ( and that was before the financial crisis!) And<br />
she went on to say, that drug therapy only works in approximately 65% of the<br />
people, and there is a full 35% who seek out help where drugs have little or no<br />
benefit&#8230; So looking into nonmedical alternatives, to me, has much merit!<br />
Now it would be somewhat impossible to try to encapsulate Hora’s Existential<br />
Meta-Psychiatry, his links to Heiddegger, Kierkegaard, and the modern<br />
influences of theologians like Paul Tillich in any short sermon, but I think I will<br />
try&#8230;</p>
<p>Dr. Hora, when quoting the wisdom found in Proverbs, would say to his<br />
students: As thou seeest, so thou be-est” and as a “Man thinketh, so in his<br />
heart, is he.” What is the meaning of what appears to be?”</p>
<p>He taught that how we look at ourselves and our world, and how we allow or<br />
permit our experiences to define us, is what or who we often do become. Dr.<br />
Hora advises we have to be very careful about how we look at ourselves, and<br />
how we view others, what we allow to program or influence us, for our<br />
perceptions, whether they are fearful and insecure or hopeful and optimistic,<br />
can influence our picture of reality&#8230; And consequently, those ways of seeing<br />
and perceiving can have either an adverse or a beneficial effects on our<br />
mental and emotional health!</p>
<p>So taking his four qualities of soul, or his four values and virtues that he taught<br />
me that are essential for living a life of purpose and meaning,<br />
I will share with you a summary of my understanding. These four words or<br />
ideals are: <strong>P A G L</strong>&#8230; Peace, Assurance, Gratitude, and Love&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>PEACE</strong>: I value a sustained sense of peace in my life. I prize serenity over<br />
sensation, preferring quiet over too much stimulus. My task in this area begins<br />
by acknowledging my tensions as my teachers; Like Jacob at Jabbock, or<br />
what blinds Paul at Damascus, what can bind me or blind me can also free<br />
me or bring me new vision. All it s takes is knowing the story, and allowing its<br />
wisdom to teach me. My own life story might contain valuable clues and keys<br />
that could eventually bless or free me. Whatever I want to see in my world<br />
begins in my own heart, and then I have to become aware how those motives<br />
needs to be carried forward into my responses and reactions that maintain<br />
harmony, and that will foster the inner peace and quiet I seek.</p>
<p>On the most personal level, peace has to flow from an inner security and a<br />
sense of acceptance. I cannot be peaceful if I am restlessly wanting, or<br />
striving, or when I am battling with my insecurities. Whenever there is a sharp<br />
word, a tense feeling, or some other form of discontent, I have to recall a<br />
sense of peace that not just a docile acceptance, avoidance, or quick<br />
surrender. It is an alert, yet serene.</p>
<p>It comes from my ability to be mindful; observe my innermost thoughts and<br />
feelings, and then consciously decide on which thoughts and feelings I want to<br />
invest with meaning, with purpose and with reality.</p>
<p>Peace requires me to be aware of the justice and equanimity within all my<br />
motives, and to choose which actions can preserve it.</p>
<p>While it is true that “Blessed are the peacemakers,” I know that my tendency<br />
toward making prophetic statements, and truth telling, does not assure me<br />
that I will easily maintain much peace or tranquillity, or that I will be free from<br />
agitation or restlessness. As Emerson states it, you can have truth or you can<br />
have repose&#8230; But you cannot have both! People wish to be settled; but only<br />
as far as they are unsettled, is there any hope for them!” Being restless in the<br />
pursuit of ones own answers is a lifelong activity&#8230;</p>
<p>Because I fully realize that I cannot accomplish any sense of lasting peace<br />
exclusively on my own, I hold that part of my sense of peace is participatory,<br />
and interconnected to my work and my community. Peace comes to me fully<br />
as being a shared value. The value of a church community is that it can offer<br />
support and affirmation for peaceful resolutions and practices that we all want,<br />
need, or desire to have in our world. The church=2 0can become that one<br />
group in our complex and challenging lives that fosters peace and<br />
understanding in the human heart and mind&#8230; And I believe that peace<br />
multiplies its good when it is shared, and then made manifest to the outside<br />
world.</p>
<p><strong>ASSURANCE</strong>: Assurance takes the feelings and motives of peace and moves<br />
me toward an inner stillness, toward an abiding sense of faith and trust. While<br />
I know that this is often a hard quality for religious liberals to accept, I define<br />
assurance as being attentive- paying attention to my inner voice of conscience<br />
and faithful to my intimacy and ongoing relationship with God which I define<br />
as the Source of inspiration and intelligence, wisdom and compassion that is<br />
both beyond each of us, and importantly, it is a source to those qualities<br />
that is within each of us.</p>
<p>For you former Methodists out there, there is an old Weslyan hymn that<br />
begins with the phrase, “Blessed Assurance,” and whether you follow its<br />
words literally or not, as a U-U, I know that it is trul y a blessing to feel secure<br />
in ones heart, content in ones life. With a sufficient sense of assurance, trust<br />
or faith, whatever events or circumstances come to us<br />
can be processed and experienced in a growing and positive way that makes<br />
“our extremities into God’s opportunities,” for insight and wisdom. Assurance<br />
also strengthens our persistence, and gives us the requisite amount of<br />
conscience and courage to choose the best course that meets our human<br />
needs, and that preserves our souls, or what we call the center of our<br />
awareness. Assurance, for me, gives a sense of security and comes from a<br />
feeling I am cared for and valued, that I can maintain a sense of trust for what<br />
my life direction seems to be.</p>
<p><strong>GRATITUDE</strong>: Gratitude has always been a demand for the spiritual life.<br />
Gratitude is often best expressed through little acts of remembrance;<br />
remembering to say or do little things, such as a table grace before a meal, or<br />
to say thank you when someone offers to help. I try to wake up each morning<br />
with a thankful attitude; thankful for the day, thankful for what good the day<br />
has in store for me. Not that I always succeed at screening out my worries,<br />
doubts, or fears, but I do attempt to see that the day as containing<br />
opportunities and blessings for me. What break s up my anticipatory anxieties<br />
is to recall all the gratitude I have for the gifts of love and care I&#8217;ve received;<br />
whether that is a warm hug, a loaf of homemade bread, friendly pet, or an<br />
invitation to lunch, even on a day like today, some unexpected sunshine! As<br />
monk and mystic Miester Eckhart put it” If there no other prayer you can say<br />
except “thank you”, it is enough.”</p>
<p>Gratitude, for me, is also expressed in my respect for nature. As a personal<br />
example, I experience gardening as a healing activity for myself and for the<br />
earth; I feed the birds, because they gave up their land for my home. I<br />
gratefully pay attention to what I eat and drink, how I exercise, and take care<br />
of my body, as ways that I can give thanks for the gift of life&#8230;</p>
<p>Gratitude means beholding the good, being thankful for all good that I can<br />
see. It helps the prophet in me to be a little less strident, a little more hopeful,<br />
and it gives my mystical side some support and solace. Gratitude for my daily<br />
life can have enormous and wondrous results!</p>
<p><strong>LOVE</strong>: Of course, without a sense of love in ones life, few of us would get up<br />
for work, or see that life itself would be worth the effort. One of the few things I<br />
agree with Freud on is this: The two great motives or sources of meaning in a<br />
man’s life are work and love. If he has one or the other, then he can survive,<br />
he can endure most any of life&#8217;s trials. It is when you are stressed by both,<br />
that is when his troubles can truly begin.</p>
<p>At its very core, in its very essence, love is a gift, and through its three<br />
expressions, qualities or kinds we can freely bestow it on others. However, the<br />
opposite is also true: I cannot give or offer to anyone else, what I am not<br />
willing to give or accept for myself. Love completes our sense of peace,<br />
assurance, and gratitude with an affectionate affirmation of what is truly of<br />
value in our lives.</p>
<p>Love affirms and uplifts; that even though there may be the experience of<br />
stress, and responsibility in our lives, Love is what fills me with hope to affirm<br />
and believe that whatever is broken can be mended, whatever has been<br />
wounded can be healed, whatever has been devalued, can be restored to its<br />
dignity and truth.</p>
<p>Love, acts as a vigilant daily guide, it is not just a warm and sentimental<br />
feeling; It is a deep and enduring, persistent and persevering investment. It<br />
includes respect, equality, and dignity for others as its starting point.<br />
Church work requires a certain loving attitude that is accepting and<br />
nonjudgmental&#8230; It is not naive, but it is idealistic. Love does not ignore<br />
egotism, but ask us to live out ones faith in a way that tries to affirm by both<br />
eye and action, that this person or that this community deserves my attention,<br />
and my empathetic support.</p>
<p>Since by metaphor and by sacred affirmation, we are all Gods children, we<br />
can declare that all people are worthy of love and respect., Though I might<br />
personally feel pressed and pressured by life’s demands, I can still remind<br />
myself of that larger sense of divine companionship, and the Universalism that<br />
declares that I am never outside of God’s love and care&#8230;. That blessing or<br />
that grace is always with me, no matter my circumstances, no matter w here<br />
the road of life happens to lead me&#8230;</p>
<p>Well, that is the beginning of my unfinished answer to how I survive and try to<br />
thrive, getting through each day&#8230;. I hope that what I have related to you can<br />
prove to be useful in your lives, and that it provided you with a deeper look<br />
into who I am, and how I approach ministry and my daily life.</p>
<p>AMEN, So Be It, Blessed Be&#8230;</p>
<address>Delivered March 1, 2009<br />
</address>
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