Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Two Wisdom Parables about God and Ourselves

October 24, 2009 - 12:45 pm No Comments

The Elephant and The Rat
There once was a rat who always saw the worse in people; he was suspicious, haughty, and self-righteous: he was quick to accuse, find fault, and believe that people were really out to get him….
Well, one day this pleasant fellow was at the community swimming hole. There in the hole was an elephant, relaxing and enjoying himself.
Going into the locker room, the rat looked around, and being upset, marched over to the swimming hole, he commanded that the elephant to come out!
The elephant, not knowing what was the problem, asked him why…
The rat just insisted, and stomped his foot. He yelled at the elephant to come out, and then I’ll tell you why … The elephant refused… and the rat continued to fuss and fume…. finally, out of compassion and not wanting the poor little rat to be so upset…. the elephant decided to end his swim, and see what the rat wanted….
When he reached the bank , he walked over to the rat and asked, ” Why did you want me to come out of the water ? ” The rat replied, “I just wanted to see if you were the one who took my swimming trunks!!!”

The moral of this story: An elephant could sooner fit into the swimming trunks of a rat, than could God fit into any preconceived ideas of who and what God is, should be, or where it is that God could be found.

As central part of my approach to transpersonal counseling, and my Interfaith Services, I encourage people to deepen their awareness of the God of their understansding, and to apply those insights as sources of wisdom and learning, healing and justice making in their lives…

The Devil and his Friend

One day, the Devil went out for a walk with his friend…. They saw a man ahead of them stop, stoop down and pick up something from the ground…
” What did the man find?”, asked the fiendish friend. The Devil said, ” Oh, he found a piece of the Truth.” “Doesn’t that disturb you?”, asked the friend…
“No” said the Devil- “I just will let him make a religious doctrine out of it”

A religious belief is only a signpost that points towards the truth that you personally have to explore, understand and accept for yourself. When you cling to the signpost, out of a need for an external source for your security, you are prevented from moving ahead to the goal. When you believe that you have the whole truth, as some more structured and conservative religious approaches proclaim, then there is no incentive to find out more or expand your understanding of truth, … Which, in my lifelong spiritual search, can come to us from all directions- those that are intentional, those that are gracious, and those that are seemingly unconnected… yet are synchronistic to our growth…

A Halloween History? The Story of Jack O’Lantern

October 8, 2009 - 7:35 pm No Comments

A Brief History of Halloween:

A  Children’s Message:  The Story of Jack O’ Lantern

What  day is today?   ” Halloween!” Who is going out soon to do trick or treating?

Did you know that such an idea as trick or treating is a very new one? That it was NEVER done before W.W.II? Think about that, since we all know that Halloween is a very old, even ancient holiday. ….

A long, long time ago, a thousand years or more, there was a tribe of people that were called the Celts. (Kelts) They lived on the British Isles- England, Scotland, and Ireland….

Their religious leaders or priests were known as druids, and their church was based on learning lessons from Nature, and the changing seasons.  Each season had a holiday or holy day connected to it- some of these special days were happy ones, and some were sad ones. There was a sad one that fell on October 31st, called Samhain, (Sow wayne)  which was the Celtic New Year’s  Eve….

This was the day of Judgment. The Lord of Death, Samhain, would decide the fate of anyone who had died that year, and offer them either happiness or punishment. It was a night when all the souls could walk about like ghosts. Because the souls were afraid of harsh judgment, some tried to take over  living people and they tried to possess them! So people would build large bonfires for protection, for you see, dead souls were cold and like moths drawn to warmth, they would harmlessly perish in the bonfire’s flames!

Some people would dress up like the family members who had died, and then go out and call on their relatives- to scare them into giving them more food, or they threatened to stay as guests for a whole year!

When the Romans conquered England, they added new events to the old Halloween holiday that they called Pomona. They added the extra food to the festival- they added apples, nuts, and pumpkins! They also added fun, games, contests and prizes!

Then as the years went on, the Christians arrived in Britain, and they tried to end or stamp out this festival… When they finally realized that they couldn’t they decided to change it so that it was more in line with their religious teachings…

They allowed the games on October 31st to continue and called it All Hallows Eve, or the night before All Saints Day. They conceded or gave in to the idea that people need to have fun so they decide to try to control their mischief before the somber days of fasting and prayer. Much like Mardi Gras, before Ash Wednesday, we were permitted Halloween before All Saint’s Day.

When Halloween came to America, with the British immigrants, we see a continuance of holding a “mischief night” among the Puritans. All the children were allowed to play innocent pranks, teases, and stunts… Two favorite ones from those days were unhinging people’s doors and tipping over the outhouses! (Vacant, I hope!)

Among the many stories and retold legends of Halloween is the tale of Jack O Lantern…  Who knows what a Jack O Lantern is? Did you ever cut or carve one? Did anyone ever explain to you what it means?

Well, here is the real story…. Or at least the legend of jack O ‘Lantern….

There once was a big, mean, selfish and tricky man named Jack. He was always greedy; He always took too much food, drink, money, toys, and kept them all for himself!

One day, Jack ran into the Devil, who warned him about continuing in his evil or selfish ways. The Devil was sitting in a large tree, and was talking down to Jack.  ….

After listening, Jack came up with a plan to scare the Devil himself!

He took out his knife, and carved a large cross in the trunk of the tree, and when the devil saw it, he let out a yell! The Devil said, I am trapped, and I can’t get out of the tree!

Jack smirked, for he believed that he tricked the Devil and pulled a fast one on him. Then the devil begged Jack to scratch out the cross, so he could climb down… Jack refused! The Devil pleaded with him, and Jack said I will do it only if the Devil promised not to punish him or keep him in Hell after he died. Reluctantly, the Devil agreed, and Jack scratched out the cross, and the Devil climbed down and went away…

Some years pass… And Jack continued in his selfish ways… He was convinced that no harm would come to him after he died, because of the Devil’s promise…

Then when Jack died, something strange and unexpected happened!

First, God saw Jack’s soul and reviewed his awful life and quickly sent him away from Heaven and down into Hell. There, Jack met the Devil again, and he reminded him of his promise… The Devil was angry!  And he threw a flaming coal at him! Jack was still eating at the time, and had hollowed out a turnip.

As he was running away, Jack caught the glowing coal in the hollowed out turnip, and when he returned to Earth, looking for food and shelter, he found that no one would take him in…

So Jack had to wander, and scrounge for food, and he had to walk from place to place… Forever…. Lonely and hungry.

The people could always see him coming, because that Devil’s glowing

coal never went out, and that the Devil’s light followed him everywhere, and on Halloween, we can still see Jack coming, and we can lock our doors!  So Be It!

Sermon Illustration… gone wrong!

August 9, 2009 - 10:02 am No Comments

A  pious minister wanted to make a point about the nature of sin to his congregation…. So he thought a convincing visual demonstration would add emphasis to his moralistic points…

He placed four worms in four separate jars…

The first was placed into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was placed into a jar of smoke. The third was placed in a jar of sexual fluids. The fourth worm was then placed in a jar of good, clean soil…

After a while, the worm in the alcohol died. Then, the worm in the smoke died. Shortly thereafter, the worm in the fluids died. However, the worm that was placed in the good clean soil was alive!

So then the minister said to his congregation: What can we learn from this demonstration? A little old woman, from the back of the room,quickly raised her hand, and stated:” As long as you drink, smoke, and have sex, you will not get worms!”

Symptoms Of Inner Peace

August 9, 2009 - 9:51 am No Comments

Beware! Watch for these Signs! The hearts of many people have already been exposed to it … Soon, we could find our society experiencing its effects in epidemic proportions!    Here are the signs and symptoms to watch for:

Tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fear based on past experiences

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment

Loss of interest in judging others

Loss of interest in judging oneself

Loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others

Loss of interest in creating conflict

Loss of the ability to worry ( this is a very serious symptom!)

Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation

Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature

Frequent attacks of smiling, laughter, and the willingness to look at things through the lens of a caring heart

Increased tendency to let things happen, rather than feel you must make things happen

Increased susceptibility to love; to extend loving regard and gestures towards others, and the uncontrollable urge to extend your love and caring, respect and support to others…

IF you have some or even most of these above symptoms, please be advised that your condition might worsen until a general feeling of Peace will manifest, and become so advanced that it will be not be curable!

If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting several of these symptoms, remain near them at your own risk! This condition called PEACE is probably in its most infectious stage when you surround yourself with ethical, spiritual, and caring people.

adapted from the popular list by Saskia Davis