Archive for the ‘General’ Category

The Spiritual Bypass Phenomenon

May 22, 2016 - 12:29 pm Comments Off on The Spiritual Bypass Phenomenon

How to Know if You’re Spiritually Bypassing

By Jonathan Toniolo on Wednesday May 18th, 2016

Can Spirituality Damage your Growth?

I first heard about spiritual bypassing on one of my favorite podcasts, The Duncan Trussell Family Hour. For those of you that haven’t had the privilege of hearing Duncan orate, it’s kind of like listening to a raspy hybrid of Alan Watts and Jim Breuer — wise enough to capture your attention, with a certain stoned goofiness that keeps it all playful.
Duncan talks about spirituality in nearly all of his interviews — most guests will happily indulge him in doing so. Naturally, spirituality is a big reason why people tune in to the podcast. So it took me by surprise when he mentioned that spirituality, as a set of ideas and practices, could actually be self–sabotaging.

Spiritual bypassing, a term coined in the early 1980s by psychologist John Welwood, refers to the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with uncomfortable feelings, unresolved wounds, and fundamental emotional and psychological needs. The concept was developed in the spirit of Chögyam Trungpa’s Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, which was one of the first attempts to name this spiritual distortion.
According to teacher and author Robert Augustus Masters, spiritual bypassing causes us to withdraw from ourselves and others, hiding behind a kind of spiritual veil of metaphysical beliefs and practices. He says it “not only distances us from our pain and difficult personal issues, but also from our own authentic spirituality, stranding us in a metaphysical limbo… a zone of exaggerated gentleness, niceness, and superficiality.”
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We hide behind a kind of spiritual veil of metaphysical beliefs and practices.
We hide behind a kind of spiritual veil of metaphysical beliefs and practices.

My Own Bypassing
In Masters’ groundbreaking book, Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters, he writes:

“Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow side, devaluation of the personal relative to the? spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.”
Before listening to Duncan wax lyrical about this, I never imagined there could be such subtle and complex consequences of pursuing spiritual matters. And thinking that I, a cautious and sincere spiritual seeker, could be suffering such consequences seemed equally absurd. But after reading the detailed description of symptoms, I knew it applied to my situation. I realised that at a certain point in early adulthood, I had perverted spirituality into a defense mechanism — a mechanism that enabled me to disavow any negative quality or behavior in myself.
I recall a few specific patterns taking place:
Whenever I became anxious, I would immediately reach for the nearest Eckhart Tolle or Alan Watts text on my bookshelf. Instead of sitting with the anxiety and checking in to see if it was coming from an innocuous source, I would quickly find refuge in spiritual philosophy.
I would strive to maintain the appearance of someone who is constantly at peace with oneself, even though inside I may have felt like the weight of the world was crushing down on my soul. This kind of faux spirituality had a complete stranglehold on my speech and behavior and caused intense cognitive dissonance.
Whenever I had done something hurtful or wrong to another person, I would rarely take responsibility for it. I deflected that responsibility by saying things like “that person just needs to grow spiritually” or “it’s just an illusion anyways” — all in a naïve tone reminiscent of the time I thought I was a bonafide professor of quantum physics.
The process of realising when you’re to blame in any given situation is no easy task. But spiritual bypassing enables one to ignore that difficult process altogether. It led me to believe I was always right because I was more “enlightened” than all the ignorant sheeples who just couldn’t see the damn light. But the harsh truth of this spiritual arrogance is that I was ignoring the pain I caused in others because I was ignoring a similar pain in myself.
I strived to maintain the appearance of someone who is constantly at peace with oneself.I strived to maintain the appearance of someone who is constantly at peace with oneself.

Reinforcements From Our Culture
Masters writes:
“Part of the reason for [spiritual bypassing] is that we tend not to have very much tolerance, either personally or collectively, for facing, entering, and working through our pain, strongly preferring pain-numbing “solutions,” regardless of how much suffering such “remedies” may catalyze. Because this preference has so deeply and thoroughly infiltrated our culture that it has become all but normalized, spiritual bypassing fits almost seamlessly into our collective habit of turning away from what is painful, as a kind of higher analgesic with seemingly minimal side effects. It is a spiritualized strategy not only for avoiding pain but also for legitimizing such avoidance, in ways ranging from the blatantly obvious to the extremely ?subtle.
The subtlety of recognition seems to be the root of why this affliction is so widespread and under-diagnosed. Psychologist Ingrid Mathieu also notes this subtlety in her article Beware of Spiritual Bypass:
“Although the defense looks a lot prettier than other defenses, it serves the same purpose. Spiritual bypass shields us from truth, it disconnects us from our feelings, and helps us avoid the big picture. It is more about checking out than checking in — and the difference is so subtle that we usually don’t even know we are doing it.”
Part of the reason for spiritual bypassing is that we tend not to have very much tolerance for pain.We tend not to have very much tolerance for pain.
Considering our culture generally shuns negative emotions, it’s no surprise many of us respond to those emotions with repression. Prominent manifestations of repression, such as alcoholism and drug addiction, are forms of relief whose conspicuous quality makes them easier to identify and intervene.

Spiritual bypassing, while seemingly more benign, is much more difficult to notice because it’s guised in the appearance of wholeness and wisdom. It’s much harder to recognise our repression when we’re chanting “Om Shanti” on a regular basis or repeating positive affirmations that “everything is okay” or “all is love.”

Yoga, meditation, psychedelics, prayer, affirmations, deeply engaging with the present moment, etc. are all incredibly powerful spiritual tools if used appropriately. But sometimes, and if we’re not careful, those things can end up masking deeper issues lingering both inside and outside of us.

Spiritual Bypassing is a manifestation of repression, as is alcoholism and drug addiction.Spiritual Bypassing is a manifestation of repression, as is alcoholism and drug addiction.
To me, spiritual bypassing is fundamentally about taking a so-called absolute truth — such as “everything is okay” — and using it to ignore or deny relative truths — such as the grief we feel when we lose a loved one, or the shame that arises when we fail at something important. On the personal and interpersonal level, sometimes everything isn’t okay. And that’s okay.

That may seem trite, but in the context of spiritual bypassing, it’s a platitude that I feel requires frequent repetition. Before we can heal our pain, we have to be honest about it and accept it — which is ideally what spirituality should help realize. As Masters suggests, this is certainly easier said than done and requires a level of vulnerability which most of us are uncomfortable with.

Nonetheless, if we grant validity to the many claims that spirituality is shaping the evolution of humanity, it seems wise to confront the intricacies of our own bypassing sooner rather than later. Doing so could not only prevent years of developmental stagnation, but also help implement new angles of self-awareness that our world so desperately needs. Acknowledgment and acceptance were the first major steps for me, and I sense a deeper spirituality is following in their wake.

April Fool’s Day: In Praise of Holy Fools!

April 1, 2016 - 12:07 pm Comments Off on April Fool’s Day: In Praise of Holy Fools!

April Fools Day: In Praise of Holy Fools
The Rev. Peter E. Lanzillotta, Ph.D.

Good Morning! And if you have not already gotten the subtle message, it is April Fool’s Day! So I could not think about giving any sermon that did not include some humor, and to focus on how the Fool has an important role in religion and life.
As I quickly have discovered and long suspected, there is an important link between religion and humor, and that it is an ancient and a universal one. While being almost ubiquitous, few, if any, religions have allowed humor to gain wide acceptance, with the least amount of acceptability in American Protestantism, which is probably the reason why there are so many religious jokes in our culture. There is no topic more receptive to humor, it seems, more enticing to laughter than piety, Puritanism, and an outlook that is joyless, strict, and self righteous.
Most clergy it appears, believe that religion is no laughing matter- that ultimate truths can only be known seriously or scientifically. They seem to disregard the fact that humor is a wonderful teaching tool, and that truth can be both funny and inspiring.
So today, of all days, we can ask: What’s so funny about religion? What are the elements in humor that teach us how to face life courageously? Why is it good to laugh, and what in our laughter, reveals reverently the mysteries and blessings of life and how we can care for enjoy one another?
Lets begin our look into “the whys and wherefore” of humor as it relates to religion, by first looking at how humor affects us as human beings. Physiologically, the ability to laugh involves responses of 15 separate pairs of facial muscles that create a visible change in complexion, posture, expression, and breathing.

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Next, Anthropologists confirm that humor and laughter are found universally- and like music, it functions best as a bridge of connection and empathy from one human to another, overcoming differences in language, time, distance, or behavioral customs, religious beliefs. A third consideration comes from research in holistic medicine. Physicians now conclude what the ancients have always known: “Laughter is good medicine; and that a merry heart does a soul much good.]”
Studies have shown laughter as being able to act as a curative agent- lowering cholesterol, increasing both red and white blood cell levels, strengthening immunity, producing pain killing endorphins, and last but not least, humor retards aging! You see, it reduces the creation of facial wrinkles, and who knows, maybe laughter makes a person more sexy and attractive, as having a good sense of humor always appears at the top of most desirable qualities one looks for in a potential mate.
Now what about the connection between humor and faith, or humor and spirituality? And what are some examples of how humor is used religiously to make a point? One hint: It isn’t the kind of humor that starts out: there once was a Nun from Nantucket, or Once a priest, a minister and a rabbi walked into a bar… Instead, my focus will be on how various forms of humor such as satire, wit, and hyperbole are used to teach self knowledge, self acceptance, humility, compassion and truth. Humor is best used religiously to point out the ironies of life; to address human foibles, and to teach us how to accept our human inconsistencies. Most often, with an attitude of love behind the remarks, laughter can be used to confound the ego, and to open a person to new insights about themselves. It results in moving the hearer from despair to hope, and can help to replace our tears of frustration with tears of joy.
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Humor can be found in almost every circumstance of life: Dr. Viktor Frankel, Holocaust survivor taught that “Humor is one of the soul’s weapons in the fight for self preservation. It helps us to rise above our feelings of helplessness and deprivation. We laugh religiously, to preserve our dignity, we laugh to stay sane and to remain humane.”] In his lectures, he would echo the author of Proverbs when he said, “a merry heart is like medicine, but a broken spirit drieth up the bones.” Proverbs, by the way, is worth reading- a very funny book!
As a quick summary, religious humor can be defined as the form of humor that is a benevolent, empathetic response to life’s inconsistencies, incongruities, mishaps and reversals. Humor that lets us laugh at ourselves and that gives us the gift of laughing with others is a gracious, healing, and redeeming gift.
Next, when looking at the various characters in Western literature and mythology that teach us about the value of humor we encounter three important figures: The Clown, The Jester, and the Fool … Each has an important place in the world’s mythological stories, and in teaching us how best to understand ourselves with humility. They teach us, through their stories, about life’s paradoxes and how to keep a healthy perspective about what our egos want, desire, or need. Their universal presence in Western literature, Scripture, and folk stories, attest that a person cannot possibly arrive at being a balanced and healthy adult without being able to laugh at yourself- and that you can be assured that life will always give us ample opportunities for appearing to be foolish, and for pointing where and how we need to become more aware, more wise!
These characters in literature, these psychological archetypes of the human condition, teach us that if we take our faith too seriously as to drain the joy and laughter from it, it becomes a perversion and you risk missing the full and complete message any spiritual path or any ethical teacher has for you.
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While similar in their message to humanity and society, we have been given three characters, and each one in this comic trio has their own distinct characteristics. The most familiar to us all is the Clown. Maybe earliest in our cultural development, the clown creates chaos and nonsense, and is seen as a figure who has descend from the ribald revels of earlier centuries into the slapstick and ridiculous antics of today. The next time you see a circus clown, remember that he or she is a vestige of ancient shamans, and medicine workers who, would juggle their way into prominence as mummers- or simply all those who wear a disguise to hid their true intent- using exaggeration to make a point!

While it was true that sometimes a clown or a jester was kept around as a scapegoat, more often they were recognized as having a special relationship to the spirit, and they could function as a guide or as a counselor… in disguise. The Jester, usually attending to a king or queen was there to provide comic relief… And to advise the members of the court as to what the people are thinking about them… Sort of a comic spy… And informational network that would reveal the truth in public and by using amusing ways … Only the astute knew how to read between the lines of gesture, pantomime, and grin…. Jesters often were also considered to be “touched by God” or possessing special insights. Most notably in the Shakespearean plays such as Twelfth Night, As You Like It, and King Lear, the jester offers wise counsel to overcome problems and distress. From the clown, the jester, and the fool we are given many beloved characters from literature; Buffoon, Harlequin, Joker, Punch, Pucinello; even Palliacci… Each instructing us on how appearances work to charm and to deceive. Each conveys messages that delve beyond the obvious, and that can be seen to instruct, inform, warn, or alarm….

Since it is April Fool’s, I will spend most of the time with the concept of the Fool. From the ancient Tarot to common psychological perceptions, the idea of a fool or being a fool has many varied meanings… What the Fool teaches us the about the balance point for serious thought, and analytical knowledge. The Fool acts in ways that would seem be superficially irrational, illogical… And yet, it proves to be heartfelt and is often comically true!
The origin of the Fool might even predate the clown and the jester, as it relates directly to displaying the human condition of folly, amusement, and the universal awareness of our human shortcomings. Folly as a word, comes to us from the French, and refers to someone as an inflated windbag- someone full of bluster, but empty of substance. (Hmm-Folly Road or Beach?
The Fool evolved, however, into a different direction from the clown or the jester as someone who shows us the place of the shadow side of life; someone who seems outwardly foolish and irresponsible, yet practices and possess a kind of sensual and crazy wisdom that proves to be more in line with a sustaining compassionate truth; showing us a different reality than what all the rigid codes of morality provides and more truth than the false security of adhering to polite manners fails to supply. Through seemingly foolish risks of openness and wonder, you can turn a problem upside down, and find answers that all your careful analysis might not ever find!

Being so open, appears to our common sense to be, a fool’s errand, and we can ask without a willingness to extend ourselves into the very heart of life, do we ever arrive at our full and true selves? Remember on this day, and on every day that you can share a laugh with someone, you can be come silly- which originally meant to be blessed with laughter, and by being silly you gain the perspective that welcomes learning, and how best to accept and embrace all that our lives could contain. So you see, in a reverse analogy or its opposite actuality, the Fool is to being foolish as being child like is to be being childish. Wisdom, then, comes with an open heart and a willingness to suspend judgments and criticism which rarely contains joy or benevolence. By being open and empathetic, ones learns to honor the other person, to find those places in the heart where we truly touch, where we are beheld just as we are, and where we are found, even with our broken pieces, to be accepted, truly whole.

Before I delve in a little deeper, and given that this has to be a short presentation, I will leave the rival archetype of The Trickster for another time… For you see, while the Trickster character in myth, story, and legend will employ humor, it can have a malicious or even a macabre twist to it. When one feel that life has played a mean trick on them, generally it doesn’t feel funny… Yet there may be irony, insight, and instigation that can awaken us to seeing the error in your ways…. The trickster is the metaphysical practical joker, and someone who intentionally upsets others in order to teach them valuable lessons…. So at another time and place, I will venture into stories about Native American Coyote, The Norse god Loki, The holy fools of India, The vast array of Sufi stories, the path of Crazy Wisdom in Tibetan Buddhism, or the Zen koan and its humorous way. Each of these tricky ways has much to teach and tell us about life, the uses of mischief, the truths found in paradox, and the nature of enlightenment.
Focussing, however, back on our Western religious heritage, from the Hebrew Testament, I recommend the stories of Isaac & Rebecca; Noah (without Bill Cosby) Moses & Zipporah; Esther, Bell, and the great book of Proverbs. But be careful about reading these stories out loud! Some of them would receive an R rating!

As for Jewish humor as a whole, our world is far richer because of its contributions. … Wikipedia references….
“The influence of the US Jewish community on American English, include teaching us Yiddish words that just are funny just to say: schmaltz, schlemiel, klutz, schmuck… Many non-Jewish Americans (though certainly not all) will recognize some of these words. Popular books (such as Joy of Yiddish and Born to Kvetch) explain these words to the general public. However, bear in mind that while many Americans from other regions and ethnic backgrounds may recognize Yiddish words such as those above, it is more likely that only those who are more educated, or widely read, or who have Jewish friends and acquaintances via their place of residence or profession, etc., would fall into this group.
There are a number of standard American phrases which originated from Yiddish, including: Get lost, What’s up, I should worry, I should live so long, I need it like a hole in the head, You don’t know from nothin’, Certain types of rhyming slang, especially those where deprecation is shown via partial reduplications, also originated in Yiddish — for example “Joe-schmo” or “Oedipus-schmedipus, so long as he loves his mother.”

In the Christian Scriptures, while Paul recommends that we become “fools for Christ”, it is Jesus, when stripped of his sanctimony and assumed propriety, who was a master of teaching through humor. Yes, Jesus was a funny man! Who knew? When I was young, the way his teachings were related to me, it seemed to only foster greater guilt and deeper shame. All of a sudden, there was this comic and cosmic twist! His message became one of joy over sorrow, freedom from guilt, and he used humor to challenge his opponents starchy and rigid rule making, and to overcome the moralistic, and often hypocritical teachings.
Honestly, now, how many of you ever thought of Jesus as being filled with joy and laughter? My conversion… So to speak… Happened one day when I was in my late teens, when my image of him moved from being my painful suffering savior, to being my happy, playful teacher… And guess what! I have Hugh Heffner to thank!
You see, I was avidly reading Playboy at the time… Just for the interesting articles, of course, … when I turned the page to see a picture of Jesus, and I was startled! There, in living color was this picture, in a Renaissance style, of a Jesus, who was laughing gleefully! I quickly began to read this article by the noted Harvard theologian Harvey Cox, which was entitled, ” For Christ’s sake!” Well, up to that time in my life, whenever I would whenever I heard those words, it usually did not refer to reverent outcry, but was spoken in great exasperation! Intriguing!
Cox’s premise was that we need to see Jesus as a man who enjoyed life; as someone who taught us about the meaning and purpose of life using stories, parables and humor to get his point across to us. Wow! To think that he was this robust, enthusiastic man who was in love with life, yet he was not simply a comedian, for he lived with moral courage, and he was foolish enough to believe everyone of us could really live by our values and ideals! Just ponder for a moment, some of his best ironic humor, and how he used hyperbole to make ethical points and give us behavioral guidelines:
” It is easier for a Camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into heaven.” A comic statement about the value of trying to amass wealth and what ultimate good it would do for you… And this one, “Don’t put your light under a bushel basket, but put it up on a candlestick”
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That is, do not hide your beauty, your purpose, your mission under some tight wraps of insecurity, but proclaim the miracle you are!… And he goes one giving us stories about how the self righteous seek to “strain out gnats but swallow camels” and when he warns the judgmental to “take the beam out of your own eye, before trying to take the speck from your neighbors”… and on throughout the various Gospel accounts…

In closing, I recommend reading the Bible for its humor, and wholeheartedly endorse becoming more like a wise fool in your approach to life. Wherever true humor is found, a spiritual quality exists, and laughter as medicine and as friendship are indispensable parts of being alive and free. Without humor, life and religion would be a dry bone of contention, arid intellectual wrangling, irritating moral pronouncements.

The real truth, as I see it, is that religion needs to be fun, and that it is fundamental to gaining a healthy perspective on our lives. Try never to lose your sense of humor- and to appreciate how it leads us to a full heart, and how humor can lead us to a greater enjoyment of one another as an inclusive, hilariously diverse community!
So Be It!

Reflection: Practicing and Growth Towards God

August 26, 2015 - 12:13 pm Comments Off on Reflection: Practicing and Growth Towards God

Practicing The Presence of God
Invocation:
Practicing the presence of God is the application of our spirit to God; It is the vivid recollection that God is present with us. It first can be experienced through imagination, then it becomes a felt experience, and finally the presence is embodied, or fully realized or understood.

Selected Reading: From the writings and correspondence of Brother Lawrence to a nearby Abbey, where a dear friend, the Abbess, lived:

Dear Reverend Mother;
We should remind ourselves, dear Mother, that our only business in this life is to please God. What can be said of all the rest, except folly and vanity? You and I have spend nearly forty years in a religious order, trying as we might, to please God, and serve our brothers and sisters in this world. I am full of shame and embarrassment when I reflect on the bountiful grace God has given me, and continues to give me, and how I have made such poor use of it as my progress down the path of perfection leads only a short way.
Since by God’s mercy, we have been given a little more time to live, let us make amends for any time lost. Let us return with complete confidence to the contemplation of God’s goodness and dwell on how God is pleased to receive e us into his mercy and love.. Let us renounce anything that keeps us from the love of God, or from the acts that do not honor him, or honor what is holy in us. Let us think on Him without ceasing, putting our whole trust in God.
Soon, we will experience the blessings of that trust, the abundance of that grace, and we will be capable of greater service and limitless love through him. We cannot avoid the dangers and the reefs that life holds without first having God as our very present help. Let us ask for it continually.
Through holy practice, we can practice our conversations with him, and learn of him in and through our lives. I know of no more proper prayer or no more easier method than this one. And as I practice, so do I advise. One must be acquainted with a person before loving them. To be acquainted with God, we must think often about him, and when we do love, we will often feel God’s presence with us.
For our hearts are where our treasure is! So let us think constantly about Him.
I remain, in our Lord, you most humble servant,
Brother Lawrence 1689
Reflection: Staying With God

In the ongoing discipline of “practicing the Presence” of God we can go through three developmental stages in our understanding and practice.

The first stage is called RECOLLECTION:

Here our principal task is one of remembering God, which is a practice shared by many spiritual traditions and made most vivid in the practice of Sufi Zhikr; the dance like movements that accompany chanting the names and qualities of the Divine…
To remember God is also to re-member ourselves… that s to assemble or put together or even restore our sense of wholeness and then affirm our sense of connected holiness with God as our divine eternal and constant companion.

The second stage is called CONVERSATION:

Here we engage in a devotional attitude while praying, singing, or if you prefer, when you talk to your inner or Higher self. The central theme her is the dialogue, the conversation between you and your understanding of God and what is holy or what occupies the holy dimension of our thoughts and of our lives. While God would not be defined as some cosmic auditory nerve or eternal ear, God would be that part of us that listens intently to our intuitions; the part of us that can hear new sources of inspiration.
It does, however, require us to stop in order to listen; to end our distractions, if only for a few precious moments, so we can set aside our random and mundane thoughts and empty our minds so that God can speak to our hearts.

The third stage is Sustained Awareness:

This third or culminating stage occurs when we can hold on to an awareness or a consciousness of the divine despite whatever external, special, or personal events and experiences are happening to us… Despite what befalls us, we can pick ourselves up because we are sustained by our faith, our hope, and our love that serves to encourage or enlarge our hearts and strengthen our spirits, and continue to be a positive influence on the rest of humankind.
Risking stating the obvious, each of us will go through challenging cycles and phases in our lives when this awareness seems elusive and sustaining our consciousness of God becomes difficult. It is important that we do not let ourselves spiral down or become overly discouraged, overly disappointed with the conditions and situations of our lives.

This is the time when we can confidently rely on our spiritual tools and practices to bring us back into a harmonious alignment or a reverent attunement with God, with love and with hope… And frankly, it really does not matter what tools or techniques you employ…. there is a wide array of possibilities and activities that will work for you IF your intention is sincere and open, and honest… Whatever actions assist us in restoring our connection and reestablishing our conversation, and that will eventually deepen our intimacy are all good!

From Brother Lawrence:
“[It is said that the interior life is precisely an elevation of our inner conversation. It is the transformation of the dialogue we already have with ourselves into the conversation we desire to have with God.]”

“[For all things are possible for those who believe; and all things are less difficult for those who have hope; and all things are made easier for those who love.]”

Practicing The Presence of God: Daily Spiritual Living Defined

August 26, 2015 - 12:09 pm Comments Off on Practicing The Presence of God: Daily Spiritual Living Defined

Sermon/Reflection:
Practicing The Presence of God: Daily Life Spiritually Defined

Nicholas Herman, alias Brother Lawrence was a member of the Carmelite Order in the 1600’s in France. While that might make you think, that was a long time ago, and what could he teach me about contemporary spirituality, the answer is plenty! Particularly when it comes to having a genuine commitment to God and to the need to reduce our egos or get them out of the way, so the light of service can flow through us….
The Carmelites, then and now are known for their intense sense of devotion, and for the willingness to endure in their faith through what has been timelessly names the “dark night of the soul” which comes down to us from St. John of The Cross and St. Theresa of Avila. However, Brother Lawrence was different in that his experience of the Holy was lead by his humility and sincerity, and revealed in a candid and practical way. He did not take on those onerous practices of self denial, instead, his struggle was to see and follow God in his daily life; through his routines, chores, and daily and to develop his spiritual awareness and encourage it to grow into an intimacy with God’s reality in our daily lives.
Lawrence was neither handsome, or even generally attractive. We are given a description of him as short, thin, and lame, and as a man who was generally uneasy or uncomfortable
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just being himself. Yet, with all those exterior and social obstacles, what he accomplished, what he taught and modeled for us could not be claimed by very many people in religious life: You see, his life was simple… and splendid. He was able to see God in that simplicity and he was able to find a sustaining sense of God’s presence and reality while attending to every day’s duties and responsibilities.
In the few correspondences he left behind, we are given a definition of what it means to practice the presence of God. Brother Lawrence recommends that we try to consecrate or sanctify everything we do; No matter how inconsequential it might appear to be or how mundane and routine it appears to us. His perspective is one of the Western spiritual counterparts to the Buddhist practice(s) of Mindfulness that also carries with it, a more devotional aspect… It is the more personal, heart-centered awareness of the Divine with you and working through you as you approach every facet of your lives; that it is present in every chore, each meeting, each encounter, each situation, in this time and in every place… Very simple… Very difficult!
This is clearly the opposite of needing to “get away” so you can become ‘spiritual” so it is the opposite of going on retreat… But it is also the opposite of elaborate rituals and lengthy prayers, attending formal services during Holy Days, or treating the presence of God as only being available when you are doing
something special or that it is somehow reserved or apart from the human experience, reserved for times of crisis or times of sentimental religion, like Christmas.
Brother Lawrence came to see that even within the most strict or rigid set of rules and structures within a monastic life, there really is no need for the Daily Offices, or set times for prayers, liturgies, and elaborate ceremonies. Instead, he found himself able to apply a prayerful consciousness to his everyday realities, and all the many chores and deeds that comprise the average human daily experience. In the middle of making a salad, preparing potatoes, sweeping the floor, feeding the animals or any other household routine, he could express his thoughts and communicate with God as an intimate familiar friend and trustworthy guide.
As a model for contemporary spirituality, this approach fits well within the possibilities for our spiritual awareness and growth. It is not bound by any specific rules or creeds, it does not require elaborate rituals or confessions of faith, but it does depend on one’s personal sense of commitment and consistency.
In the midst of trying to keep our lives straight and when we are caught up in the rush of daily life where we have to catch our breath, (much less hold on to any lasting sense of inspiration!) comes the sincere and simple advice of Brother Lawrence that declares that God can be found right in the middle of it all!
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The irony is that our breath is and our source of inspiration are exactly what we need to catch and hold onto during each moment of each day. It does not matter if this sounds impossible because its practice is always good, always beneficial and cannot fail us. Whatever modest success we have with remembering God’s presence will be to our benefit, once a day, every moment… whenever we can, its blessings come with every attempt we make and will promote more happiness, health, and harmony for us.
There is nothing wrong or negative in being busy; boredom is far worse. The emphasis has to rest on one’s attitude towards whatever task or occupation is before us. There is nothing wrong with having initiative, having a sense of industry creativity or enjoying a sense of accomplishment. The problem is when there is an absence of God, good, grace in the process and a lack of awareness that can degenerate into materialistic striving or blind and soulless ambition. Brother Lawrence’s teachings recommend that we look toward God and cling fast to the insights that come from our spiritual guidance. We do this by keeping watch over our motives and acts, and keeping watch through prayerful reflection during our waking and working moments.
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Brother Lawrence was accepted into the monastery when he was just eighteen years old; He stayed within those walls and confines and lived out his routines for some fifty years. After his early, initial awakening to the realities of God that could be found everywhere… in nature, in others, in oneself, he found that he was not sure how he could apply this awareness to his life. He felt that its one thing to have an isolated flash of recognition or insight but it was quite another thing to change- to learn to live by what he once felt was so real. Like so many people, then and today, these insights can lead one to the church ( or away from it!) and in pursuit of a spiritual vocation, widely defined. The goal of such a chase or pursuit would be to replicate those initial feelings and insights in a way that allowed him to share them with others.
Then came the rude shock. Because he was of noble birth, and had a keen intellect, he expected that the Abbot would place him in the library, or give him a scholar’s position. Instead, he was given the assignment to be a cook, a task he detested! Seeing no alternative to his dissatisfactions, and having no recourse with the Abbot, he sought to learn this tedious and unglamorous new “vocation” as a way to express his service to God and to his brother monks. He reluctantly accepted the challenges of kitchen duty, and through his own struggles and trials, he was able to turn the monotony and the everyday drudgery into a continual daily prayer- trying to see God, and talk with God throughout everything he had to do.
Have you ever tried looking or approaching your days like that? Too often, our good intentions end at spilling the coffee, or exit before we leave home! I ask: can we learn to just take a moment to consider how our lives could become a little more tranquil… How we could make each task of our day a little more loving, receptive, creative?
Clearly, I am not recommending trying to walk around with a pious angelic look on your face… or wandering around like some lost saint! I know, I’ve tried it, and it doesn’t work! People think you are searching for the rest room! Such a nonchalance or adopting an overly mystical mindset is, at best, a romantic illusion. It is neither helpful to your spiritual progress nor is it anything but precarious when dealing with the outer world and all of its traffic! The practice the presence is not merely an idea that works for monks or only in monasteries. It is within the reach of us all.
The presence of God manifests through the refocusing of our hearts and minds to include an abiding sense of companionship and dialogue that will change our perceptions. This inclusion of the Divine gives us a wider view of compassion and a deeper sense of inspiration that gives shape and direction to our days.

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Q: What if you have trouble praying or feel that you cannot come up with all the right words, exalted thoughts, rich, poetic, and wonderful feelings? It doesn’t really matter… To be at a loss for words or groping around for a greater sense of understanding is not so bad… simple words, even fleeting thoughts can suffice.
As Brother Lawrence recommends in his writings:
“[We must seek to serve God in holy freedom. We must do our work faithfully, without trouble, or any disquieting thoughts. We need to recall our minds to God, with an ease and a tranquility that welcomes us back to remembering, when ever our minds have wandered.” ( Universal teachings in many forms of meditation, using mantras, or in the process of watching ones internal processes…)
He completes his instruction by recommending that “whatever is before us, we can do with a renewed appreciation that we are doing it for God.”
(Wheels of Wood story…)
It is important to remember that practicing the presence of God is not some superficial form of magical thinking or positive affirmations. It is neither creating positive slogans nor some convoluted mind science. It is what it is! Developing a remembrance of God and feeling free to talk with God which has, as its result, an ability to make our communications more clear and compassionate. as we remember, these qualities transfer to our consciousness… they become our own…
We embody God through our thoughts, through our feelings and our conversations that increase our composure and grants us a greater sense of peace no matter the task ahead: changing a tire or changing a diaper! Our sense of peace and confidence, our composure and our sense of calm comes to us because whatever we are doing, we are doing for others and with God. The quality of our lives depends less on one’s own thinking as it does on the connection, communication and cooperation with God that becomes a holy relationship.
As you can easily see, the practice of the presence of God is not for the faint hearted or the weak willed; It is not for those who think of themselves first, or who are easily discouraged. It is accomplished through a diligent joy. Yes, it is easy to forget, but it is just as easy to resume and regain where you left off in your divine dialogue. The only real difference between the hallowed saint and the ordinary person is their diligence, focus, and the constancy of their efforts to achieve a divine intimacy and understanding.
Surely, there will be times when negativity and ego tendencies strive with this desire … when we will experience tension, depression, and all the rest… What happiness there is to obtain or receive in our lives is not dependent on an external
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event or circumstance– It is to be found in being able to carry on a divine conversation. The practice of this relationship is like any other you cherish; It is a lifelong pursuit. in point of fact, our lives can change with a simple song, a loving thought or an easy prayer. Our highest employment, our best career move is found in remembering God.

Jesus urged us never to be afraid to ask, to knock, to pray, and to trust that God hears us. He also said that if we seek God first, all things will be added unto us. Paul said that the task of a spiritual person is to “pray without ceasing”…

So may the practice of the presence of God fill your lives with companionship and beauty, even throughout your daily routines, and may your communication with God enliven you with a greater sense of companionship and may your communication strengthen and open your hearts. ” May God fill you with faith and hope and the joy that comes from believing.”

Amen; So Be It….

 

Are You Spiritual but not Religious? What does that mean? Can you be Spiritual AND Religious?

May 26, 2015 - 3:48 pm Comments Off on Are You Spiritual but not Religious? What does that mean? Can you be Spiritual AND Religious?

Homily/Theme: What Does It Mean To Be Spiritual and Religious?

Chances are that you have heard these words from your friends who have been seeking their own answers, and chances are that you have said these words yourself: “I am spiritual, but I am not religious!”

Generally, we all know what that means, right? That we identify ourselves as a person who explores, who bravely seeks answers, and who often can not find what they are seeking in the traditional ways of church, worship, with all of the limiting behavioral expectations and the exclusionary beliefs.

IF we have recently returned to our childhood faith, or when as an adult, we have reexamined the beliefs and values that are still being espoused, we can encounter limited understanding, traditional patriarchal meanings, or a series of disheartening attitudes that are, at their worst, harsh and depersonalizing, and even at their best, they can be stale and limiting.

In today’s culture, yes, even here in the “Holy City” area – One of the most resistant, most traditional, and most conservative of places, there are a growing number of people who find themselves dissatisfied with what passes for religious beliefs, and who can no longer feel comfortable, much less inspired, by traditional worship.

In particular, they can object to the repressive uses of theology and Scripture as agents of control that try to limit the scope of your questions, or cramp your desire to seek out your own answers.

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Just as many people say that they have out grown the image of God as the old man in heaven, sitting on a golden throne, as judge and jury over our souls, so too have many people outgrown the belief that we are sinners and need judgmental or parental authority figures to tell us what to do, and what to believe about God, life, love…

I expect that most of you sitting here have encountered this and resisted it, and it is possible that you have found yourselves a little lost, or at least disheartened over the lack of choice, or the lack of open, and progressive alternatives to church in our area. It can appear as if many churches here are living in a isolated time warp or a cocoon that shuts out the need for greater acceptance or tolerance.

For example, by my quick count, there are over 100 churches in Charleston county, yet there are only five communities of faith that welcome gay and lesbians, only three of these five church groups would be consider themselves to centrally Christian, only one to be inclusive and metaphysical, and only one maybe two to be welcoming of all faiths or accepting of having no faith at all! No wonder there are so many spiritual Meetup Groups! There are a lot of people who are looking around, and most cannot find what they seek!

During my personal lifelong study and my ministry experiences, there has been a lot of resistance to the word spiritual, just as there has been in more recent years, there is the reluctance to call oneself a religious person. …

 

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I feel that the time is “ready and ripe” to define both terms in new inclusive and welcoming ways. (which by the way, are the words Jesus used in Aramaic to describe what he called being Blessed…

As in the Beatitudes… Ready are you…)

Let’s chose the easier word first… being religious…

I bet you thought I would choose spiritual, didn’t you?

Without belaboring it, most conventional churches are only superficially or sentimentally religious. They prefer to operate as pious social groups, for business networking, for parenting support, for reinforcing the status quo with a little sentimental story, or a passive ritual… That’s is what conventionally passes for being religious. However, there is a deeper, more troubling dimension to be religious in our culture today…

That is when being religious means that you are blindly arrogant. When Scripture is used as a political weapon for exclusion or inclusion- Either you believe what we say or we will threaten you in two things: You will be threatened with being ostracized from family, friends, jobs, or you will be threatened with damnation and Hell because, according to the way they have chosen to read the words, they can pronounce that you are not accepted, that you are a sinner!

The pressure to conform to ideas and concepts you no longer trust or believe in is a heavy one; This coercion we can feel, especially from family and friends, can be very disheartening.

 

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I have heard this experience often from my clients in spiritual direction. They would often agree around these experiences:

That they had to leave home religiously in order to find themselves- They had to be a bold, rebellious, and then become an adult seeker…

However, it is also true that this path can be very difficult… being responsible for your own answers, being a mystic seeking wholeness or becoming a prophet after truth is not an easy road! That is why so few people choose it!

As I see it, arrogant or judgmental theology has created more atheists, and more disillusioned people that any question based on science or social doubt could have ever done! However, it has also created many sincere seekers who wish to find spiritual ideals and a community that now fit their expanded understanding…

In the 12 Principles of Creation Spirituality, you will see that this community will consciously aim to rectify and restore your sense of dignity, value, talent, and purpose. It will not ask you to sacrifice your ability to reason, nor will it expect you to believe in anything or act in any way that is not compassionate and wise.

You see, religion, as it pertains to its original word meaning, religiare, is an expression of human belonging or spiritual bonding that keeps, respects, and holds people together in service to a larger ideal or a greater truth than one can have or hold just by themselves.

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Being religious is having or holding on a sustaining belief in the grace that can be found in being together- in sharing, in working together to support and to encourage one another through our commonly held ways of worship, study, and service.

(group energy/synergy and dynamism)

Now I fully acknowledge that stating or even declaring that you are “spiritual but not religious” is an important necessary step in many people’s spiritual journey- There is truth in saying that you first have to know what you do not believe in before they can find what ideas and ideals that can become your new sources for truth. When one goes through rejection, what you are expressing is what you no longer accept, or that you no longer wish to practice a level of belief or consciousness that you feel that you have either outgrown, or that is dysfunctional or even disrespectful for you.

Instead, many sincere seekers have chosen to remain outside of any church community until you can find a place that would support and inspire your new more mature and more inclusive awareness.

So I celebrate the virtue of necessary rejection! Without the courage to walk away, to explore, and to discover new truths, you cannot realize or be responsible for having an adult or mature understanding of faith, God, spirit, truth… As Walt Whitman put it, we are to “dismiss anything that insults our souls, and then our very flesh will become a poem!”

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We need a religious dimension to our lives so that we can experience a sense of belonging, and feel as if there are sisters and brothers around that we can trust, and that we can be honest with, and who will genuinely care about us: Mind/Body/Heart/and Soul.

When religion and spirituality intersect, and when they become clearly practiced, we can arrive at a complementary synthesis, or a complete belief system. As Matthew Fox, founder of Creation Spirituality puts it, “There can be no mysticism without ethics, and no spirituality without justice.” I would add that there can be no complete sense of religious understanding without an active spirituality to accompany it. Without having sufficient regard for Myth, mystery, and meaning, there cannot be a complete sense of the Holy that can be found in that community.

Most of the new nationwide research on what people are looking for in a spiritual community centers around becoming more pneumocentric- more Spirit centered and bravely open to many ideas. which is contrary to the historical and conventional ways of church… This more Spirit centered approach will be more inclusive of various paths towards truth, it will be more participatory, and will seek to provide various ways of learning as a part of each service. It has become clear from all the feedback they have received that long time seekers, and those of the new wave of searchers will not be content with being “sacred observers.” This is the term I have found to best describe that conventional congregation:

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just passively sitting in their pews, and feeling parented by some authority figure or satisfied by simply be given pious pabulum that has little value or no direct application once they leave the service!

In short, the new generation of spiritual pioneers and visionaries will not settle for religion being done “for them or done to them”… They wish to learn how to live their ideas more fully, not just talk about them! They want to wholeheartedly participate in developing an adult, responsible, and a knowledgeable faith that informs the whole person, and that tributes positively to the critical, necessary social changes we see around us…

Now for the word, spiritual… what a minefield that is! It is so inexact, so obtuse, with so many amorphous definitions that while we can easily come to a general consensus, those facile words still lack depth or any sense of a complete understanding! It took me ten pages to define it in my book on Spirit, Time and The Future!

Generally speaking, the word spiritual is most commonly equated with a kind of universal energy, or with some force that it both within us and beyond us. Other times, the word spiritual takes on the more pious or sentimental ideas of grace, but still not knowing how or in what ways that blessing can arrive or occur. …

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I do not believe that spirituality is neither reducible to secular physics, nor is it a abstract, sentimental notion of God’s reality…

While Spirit’s basic effect is vitality, She can also be known as our source for wisdom, evolutionary relationships, soul centered healing, and justice making… It flows from the center of the Cosmos, and is evident in every breathe we take… The qualities most associated with Spirit are alchemical: They are the abilities of Transformation; Transcendence, and Transmutation… Change!

As I see it, the source for all this is the inclusive and expansive understanding of The Holy Spirit in Christianity is the same gracious and powerful Spirit or divine feminine that is found in all the timeless mystical aspects of the world faiths. She manifests and releases creativity and compassion, and She guides any community that is founded on interdependent, evolutionary impulses that direct us beyond ego and culture, and towards a sustaining sense of being whole and free…

I welcome you today to this opportunity to worship, and to work together, to share in creating a community of soulful exploration and compassionate understanding- a community that teaches how to live a pneumatic or a Spirit centered life- a life that is filled with discovery, affirmation, and blessings! Amen; So be It! Blessed Be!