Exam Question: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
The following is from Dr. Schambaugh’s Chemical Engineering Test given at the University of Oklahoma in 1997….
Concerning the rules for Heat and Mass transfer, the following question was posed:
Is Hell exothermic or is it Endothermic? Support your answer with the truth!
Most all of the professor’s students wrote their proofs using some variation of Boyle’s law. One student, however, wrote the following explanation:
He said: First we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell and at what rate are they leaving?
I think we can safely assume that once a soul goes to Hell, it stays there! Therefore, there are no souls that are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state confidently that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell! Since there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls will go to Hell! With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect that the number of souls in Hell will increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of volume in Hell. Boyle’s law states that in order for the temperature and the pressure to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and the volume needs to stay constant.
Case 1: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose!
Case 2: If Hell is expanding at a rate that is faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and the pressure will drop until Hell freezes over!
Q: So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by my classmate Theresa Banyan who, during my freshman year told me that it will be a cold night in Hell before she would sleep with me, and if we take into account that now, as a senior, I still have not succeeded with her, then Case 2 cannot be true! Thus Hell is exothermic!
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A in the course!
Story: Sanity and Sanctity
How do we learn about our differences, and how one person’s talent or skill is not to be envied, just as another person’s spiritual beliefs are not to be shunned or put down? Here is a story form the famous Black theologian, Howard Thurman that offers us an answer:
“I dreamt that God took my soul to Hell. To my right, there among the trees, were men and women hard at work making a garden. And I said, looking at them, ” I should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very industrious place, filled with lots of personal success and much individual accomplishment.”
Then God said,” Nothing grows in the garden they are making.” Together we look more carefully: And I saw those people working among the bushes, digging holes, but instead of planting anything, there was nothing to fill these holes. The workers covered the holes with sticks, straw, leaves, and earth, and I noticed that each man as they walked back behind the bushes, they watched their footsteps very carefully, then the men hid themselves and intently watched their holes…
I asked God, “What were they doing?” And God said, “Oh, they are making pitfalls for any man or woman to fall in.” I said to God,” Why do they do it?” And God said, “Because each person who lives in Hell thinks when his brother or her sister falls, then they will more easily rise or succeed.
And then I asked, ” How will he or she rise?” God said,” They will not rise, but instead, they will fall into egotism and fail to truly succeed”
And I asked God,” Are these people sane?” God replied, ” They are not sane; there is no sane person in Hell.”
As I understand it, life requires us to accept with gratitude, the gifts and talents of others, and not seek to feel superior or inferior. Also, we are to honor all the different ways of understanding God, or what is good or what is considered to be Holy- We are not to sharply criticize the differences, but we are to compare, and to appreciate so that we can learn from them.
After all, if we are to trust the intent of World Scripture, we are given the view that God created humanity so that we can bless and care for one another, not so we could harm or judge each other- No one truly gets ahead when another person fails, and no one is made better by trickery or deceit, envy or revenge.
In fact, it could be said that only as we learn to tolerate and accept one another’s differences, and not try to create pitfalls, can we begin to find a genuine and lasting sense of inspiration within the diverse communities that we build, …
And only then, does even a glimpse of heaven become possible.
You and I are in the business of building kingdoms and queendoms together- to build the realms of wonder and sustain the structures of integrity and worth in which all of our sisters and brothers of the liberal and lively spirit work together and dwell….
This is ideal of community- It consists of the blessings and grace we can experience in caring for one another, and the that can be found in sharing our life’s journey with one another, thereby enriching and supporting each other all along life’s way….
Story: What Heaven and Hell Are Really Like?
One day, a young monk brought a perplexing question to his Abbot, the head of the monastery. He said” I have been studying all the theology about heaven and hell, but its all so complex that I am confused… Is there any easy way I can know what the difference between Heaven and Hell is ?
The elder Abbot paused for a moment, and then told the monk this story: He said Heaven and Hell are, in some ways, similar, the difference is found in how we treat people…
Picture a large ornate dining hall, you know fine china, flowers, soft linen… And now see all the people surrounded by the most delicious foods you can imagine- tasty meats, sumptuous desserts… But the people gathered there were gaunt, tired, listless, severe, miserable…. You see the only silverware they had were long forks and spoons- so long that they could not load up and bend their arms to get the food into their mouths… So all the food was wasted, and the people remained painfully thin…
That is Hell… Now Heaven is exactly the same… A beautiful dining hall, great food, but there the people were happy, well fed, laughing, and truly enjoying one another… You see, said the elder Abbot, the difference between Heaven and Hell is this: In heaven, the people learned to take the long forks and spoons, and instead trying to put themselves first, they learned to reach across and to feed one another…. Heaven is found in unselfish, loving service to others….”